Creating connection, resilience, and inclusion—one conversation at a time.
When I think back to my time as a head teacher, there is a memory that really makes me smile. It was during a particularly stressful end of term when everything seemed to be going wrong—paperwork piling up, staff morale sinking, and students picking up on the tension in the air.
In the middle of all this, a teacher stopped me in the corridor and said, “You always seem so calm, Maureen, but I know you must be feeling the pressure too. How do you keep it together?”
I laughed—because I definitely wasn’t feeling calm—but I answered honestly: “I talk it out. Not always perfectly, but I’ve learned that when I share what’s on my mind and listen to what’s on everyone else’s, things don’t feel quite so heavy.”
I know what you’re thinking; that conversation flies in the face of age-old leadership analogy we’ve all had drummed into us: Be like a swan—gliding gracefully on the surface while paddling furiously beneath.
But here’s the thing—does it truly serve us to mask our effort and struggles all the time? If we constantly hide the challenges we’re navigating, how can we expect our staff to feel safe sharing theirs? I’m not suggesting we share every struggle or detail, but allowing an occasional, intentional glimpse beneath the surface—paired with open and honest communication—can build trust and model vulnerability in a way that strengthens our school culture.
This week, let’s explore how positive communication, rooted in sincerity and curiosity, creates a ripple effect that transforms school culture, reduces isolation, and makes everyone feel seen, valued, and supported.
1. Trust and Connection Reduce Isolation
Leadership can feel lonely, especially when you’re carrying the weight of everyone else’s needs. But when we use communication to foster trust and connection, it creates a ripple effect.
Imagine this: A staff member who’s had a tough day feels comfortable enough to tell you, “I’m struggling.” Or a student who’s been keeping quiet about their challenges finally opens up because they trust you’ll listen without judgment.
That’s the power of positive communication. It breaks down barriers and ensures that no one—staff, students, or leaders—is left feeling unsupported.
2. Positive Communication Builds Resilience
Let’s face it—schools are tough places. Challenges come at us from all directions. But how we talk about those challenges can make all the difference.
I remember a time when one of my teams was overwhelmed by a particularly demanding initiative. Instead of saying, “We just have to push through,” I reframed the situation: “I know this is a lot but look how far we’ve come. Let’s figure out how to make the next step manageable.”
The energy shifted immediately. By focusing on their strengths and the small wins, we found a way forward together. Positive communication doesn’t ignore difficulties—it transforms them into opportunities for growth.
3. Inclusion Thrives on Positive Communication
An inclusive school culture starts with how we communicate. Are we creating space for every voice, or are some being drowned out?
One of the simplest ways to foster inclusion is to be curious about the quieter voices. During meetings, I’d often say, “I’d love to hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet—what are your thoughts?” It was amazing how often this led to brilliant ideas that might have otherwise gone unheard. For thse colleagues who really struggled with this, we did coaching sessions together on 'finding your voice/limiting beliefs' to build confidence and/or had pre-meetings where they felt more comfortable about sharing views to a smaller audience.
Inclusive communication also means adapting to individual needs. Whether it’s understanding cultural nuances or recognising the ways a neurodivergent person may express themselves, small adjustments in how we communicate can make a world of difference..
4. Positive Communication Counters Imposter Syndrome
As I have openly shared before, there were times as a head teacher when I felt like I didn’t belong—like someone would find out I wasn’t good enough for the role. And I know I’m not alone in that.
But I’ve learned that imposter syndrome thrives in silence and criticism. When we openly acknowledge each other’s strengths and contributions, we chip away at those feelings of inadequacy.
A small, specific word of praise— “Your creativity really shone through in that staff development session,” or “I appreciated how you handled that parent meeting”—can have a tremendous impact. And the more we give this kind of feedback, the easier it becomes to believe in our own abilities too. And if you find yourself pushed for time, or a moment passes in the hustle and bustle of the workng day, a note of praise slipped under a door, or in a pigeon hole can make a wonderful and heart-warming surprise that brightens the day for the receiver.
The Big Picture: Communication Shapes Culture
A positive school culture isn’t about grand gestures or glossy initiatives. It’s built in the quiet moments—in the way we talk to each other, listen to each other, and lift each other up.
As a leader, you have the power to model this every day. When you communicate your values, (in my case with sincerity, curiosity, and joy) you show your school community what’s possible. And the ripple effect? It creates a place where everyone—not just students, but staff and leaders too—feels seen, supported, and valued.
So, the next time you find yourself rushing through a conversation or sending off a quick email, pause and ask yourself: What tone am I setting here? How can I use this moment to build trust, resilience, and inclusion?
Because when we get communication right, everything else starts to fall into place.
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