The Year That Wasn’t What You’d Planned — And Why That’s O.K.

Leadership doesn’t always go to plan — but that doesn’t mean you haven’t grown.

I remember the year I was convinced I’d finally crack it. New strategy. Motivated staff. A vision board of goals (the proper kind with felt-tips and highlighters). I’d even colour-coded my SIP. And yet... that year turned out to be one of the messiest of my career. Things I’d pinned my hopes on didn’t materialise. Plans got derailed. People left (or in some cases, didn’t leave — and that brought challenges of its own).

My energy wavered. I lost sleep trying to claw back time I’d already given away. I reshuffled priorities so often that the lines between work and life blurred into something unrecognisable. And somewhere in the middle of it all, I started to question myself. Not just the plans or the progress; but me.  Was I still the values-led leader I thought I was?  Had I become too soft? Too hard? Too slow?  Was I working hard enough? Or was I just ‘working’ and hoping it would be enough?

My Road to Damascus moment came one ordinary evening. I’d come home, drained and irritable, having spent the day firefighting what I then saw as irritating diversions from my “real” priorities.  As he always did, my husband asked me: “Did you get everything done today?” And as I always did, I sighed and said “No.” Only this time, something clicked.

Like a spotlight in a dusty attic, I saw the absurdity of the question and of my relentless pursuit of a finish line that didn’t exist.  “No” would always be the answer to that question. Because in eduction, there is always more.  More needs. More plates. More expectations.  And trying to turn that “no” into a “yes” every day was going to break me. From that day on, I asked him — and myself — to change the question. Instead of “Did you get everything done?”, the question became:  “What did you achieve today?”  That one shift transformed everything.  Because that question always has an answer.  Even on the hard days. Especially on the hard days.

That moment changed the way I measure a successful day  and, eventually, a successful year. Because instead of asking myself if I’d ticked every box or satisfied every external expectation, I started asking: 'What did I actually achieve?'  And when you ask that question through a lens of self-compassion rather than performance metrics, a different picture emerges.

Instead of measuring impact by:

• How many items you ticked off your SIP,

• How well-behaved your Year 9s were during inspection,

• Or how often SLT agreed with you in meetings.

  
  

Try looking at:

• What you held together when things could have fallen apart,

• How you spoke up, even when your voice trembled,

• Who you helped grow, even if they don’t realise it yet.

  
  

I created The Unmasked Leadership Collective as a space where leaders could name these quiet victories;  especially those who’ve spent their careers feeling like they don’t quite fit the mould.

Maybe you're the only one on your leadership team who looks or sounds like you. Maybe your values, your voice, or your lived experience have been questioned, or even outright dismissed.  Maybe you’ve been left wondering whether you need to change who you are in order to “lead properly.”

This space was made for you.

ULC isn’t about fixing yourself to fit the system.  it’s about making space for the kind of leadership the system has too often overlooked.

If you're ready to take off the mask and look back with clear eyes, there’s a space here for you.

You don’t have to lead like everyone else.

You just have to keep leading like you.