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Santa Isn’t Coming… And That’s Okay



How Schools Can Make Gift-Related Activities Inclusive


The festive season often brings a focus on gifts—what’s under the tree, what Santa will bring—but for many children, this can create stress or a sense of exclusion. Not every family has the means to indulge in gift-giving, and not every family celebrates Christmas.

For some children, like Alex, the holidays are particularly challenging. Alex, a Year 4 pupil with a traumatic background, struggled as Christmas break approached. His behaviour became increasingly aggressive—targeting classmates with cruel remarks, lashing out physically when games didn’t go his way, or when others received praise.

The breaking point came on Christmas jumper day, when Alex punched a boy dressed as the Grinch. We brought Alex into my office, where he sat playing with my ‘Kinetic Wave’ desk toy, something he often found calming. I made him a hot chocolate with marshmallows, and as he took his first sip, I saw his shoulders drop.

“What’s up, Al—” I didn’t even finish his name before the tears started flowing. What followed was an uncontrollable wave of sobbing, a raw outpouring of the pain he’d been carrying.

Finally, he calmed enough to blurt out that “Santa wasn’t coming” this year for him and his little sister. Their mum had fallen behind on bills, and the family had no money at all. We patched him up and contacted his mum, who confirmed they were penniless and struggling to make ends meet.

Together, we acted. We invited Mum in, made some calls to Citizens Advice so that the issue was sorted and we knew funds were on their way and raided our school kitchen and food tech cupboards to find supplies we could donate. The happiest ‘coincidence’ of all? Alex’s name was drawn for our annual Christmas hamper—a box of goodies and gifts we staff put together ito give to one lucky pupil n lieu of doing our own Secret Santa. (Insert wink emoji here!)

This experience was a poignant reminder of how the holidays amplify vulnerabilities. For children like Alex, the stress can feel insurmountable, but with empathy and practical support, schools can help ease the burden.


Strategies for Sensitivity and Inclusivity


  1. Shift the Focus:

    Instead of centering conversations around material gifts, emphasise experiences or acts of kindness. For example, invite pupils to share something they’re excited to do over the break or a memory that brings them joy.


  2. Rethink Secret Santa:

    If your school does Secret Santa, set a low spending limit or consider a “make a gift” option, where pupils craft something meaningful.


  3. Celebrate Giving, Not Receiving:

    Organise a class charity initiative, like donating food or toys to local organisations. This reframes the season as a time for generosity and connection.


  4. Create Neutral Spaces:

    Avoid assumptions about what children will experience over the holidays. Instead, create activities that celebrate community, like a shared movie day or crafting session.


  5. Lead With Empathy:

    Be mindful of the language used in classrooms and staff rooms. Encourage discussions that celebrate everyone’s unique experiences without placing value on material possessions.


For children like Alex, the holidays aren’t about joy or celebration—they’re a time when emotions bubble over, and pain surfaces. By creating inclusive, empathetic spaces and shifting the focus from materialism to connection, schools can offer children a sense of safety and belonging during what can be a difficult time of year.

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